More about Shalimar – and her newspaper debut!

A few weeks ago, Shalimar and I went to a pet fair called PawPrints.

My Home and Community Care comes from an awesome organisation with the most lovely people – no matter who I get from there as a case manager or helper, they are kind, caring people who I always come to see as friends. They don’t only provide assistance for people with mental illnesses, but to the disabled, the elderly, and they also have a service to help people who are homeless.

They sponsored PawPrints along with the council – and ‘marginalised’ people were invited to take their pets along for a free vet check, vaccinations, worming, samples of food, and home made blankets/coats/leashes.

It was so darn awesome!

The Courier Mail asked me if I would be in a article with Shalimar and it was in the paper today -

I’m so proud of Shalimar :)

I think it’s time I wrote more about my beloved cat!

This story starts years before Shalimar was even a twitch in a tomcat’s tail. We had many pets growing up – and cats were part of the menagerie – four of them. Hotchy was mine – she had been one of a litter of kittens an ex-stray cat had had, only two had survived, Hotchy, and her brother (my older sister’s cat). The honour of her being ‘mine’ meant that my mother had a good reason now to enslave me more than she had already been – but that’s another story.

Hotchy was my best friend. Home was hell, but suddenly I wasn’t alone. Hotchy was the first living being who showed me unconditional love, and I loved her back with all my heart. She would always be waiting for me when I got home from school – she’d jump up on the front of the car as I walked through the garage and put one paw on each of my shoulders, smooooching my face :)

Hotchy lived for six years – she died in December 1993, five days before Christmas when she was bitten by a baby taipan. I was heartbroken and cried myself to sleep every day for a year.

Those years were the worst ever, the year before and the year after she died. The bullying was intense, home was intense, I was depressed as hell, my eating and weight had attracted the attention of the teachers and I was often questioned about my intake. Mum had begun dragging me around to doctors trying to get me diagnosed with anorexia which infuriated me, I did NOT have anorexia (so I thought. Seems I was the last to know it. I remember being so angry when a couple of girls in front of me in Biology during a discussion where anorexia was brought up, looked back at me and whispered “Fiona’s got that.”)

I was finally diagnosed with major clinical depression and all prozac’d up. Not long after that, I left home for good – things got too dangerous and I had to get out fast. Looking back, I don’t think I would have been able to leave if Hotchy had not been gone all that long – it took that year for me to even be okay with not being able to be around where she was buried, and to not feel like leaving was a betrayal. If she had still been alive, I would have stayed. So I guess… she wasn’t meant to be alive longer.. but I missed her so much.

With Hotchy, October 1992 (I turned fifteen two days later)

Sorry for the quality of the photo – it’s very old. I don’t have a scanner so some of the photos for this post have been photographed from the originals.

I know this is VERY unusual, but I bonded strongly from the beginning with all animals. It just is natural for me. And I wasn’t getting any love from my family.

I always hoped that I would have another cat in the future. I used to wander though the David Jones in the city when waiting for my train after school, trying on the perfumes, and Shalimar by Guerlain had become my favourite. Nobody in my life that I can remember wore it, but it evoked feelings of safety, comfort, and nostalgia in me. Funny how perfume can do that! Somehow I decided that if I had another cat in the future, I’d call her Shalimar. I never forgot that.

Roll on to 2002. I had been in hospital many times by then, I was battling the eating disorder big time. One of my friends, B, had died the previous year from it. Her mother, E,  had been about to send her to a new clinic that had opened up in a southern state –  but B had not made it in time.  After B died, she bought a house here in my city for the clinic to have a branch based here, too. I went along to the opening party, but I never dreamed that I would go there. It was simply another private clinic that was inaccessibile to me since I didn’t have the money to pay for it. (People mortgaged their homes to go to this clinic, it cost tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands, and wasn’t covered under private insurance which I didn’t have either)

One day I got a phone call from E. She said “You have an appointment at the clinic on –day, and I’m going with you”. I was blown away! It was a dream come true, I really believed I would get better, and I did very well for a while, but sadly they didn’t have what I needed, and I wasn’t ready either. Not every method works for everyone – we are different – and this method didn’t work for me. Also, if you are not ready to face up to things, be honest, do the work – you will get nowhere.

While I was at the clinic, E took me to the RSPCA to buy me a kitten as a gift. So exciting! We went on the 13th of February 2003.

I walked up and down the rows of mature cats, but the kittens cage drew me in. There were so many of them! All squalling and squealing and playing! So cute. But there was one little grey one, the runt, and the moment my eyes fell on her I exclaimed “There she is! Shalimar!”  E did everything she could to convince me to choose a healthier looking, less scruffy specimen, but I was taken. Shalimar was bought, boxed, bundled into the car and off we went!

On the way home we stopped for supplies, and I stayed in the car with her. I couldn’t bear to keep her in the box. When E came back a few minutes later, she was curled up in the crook of my elbow, asleep and purring. We bonded instantly.

That night, I hardly slept as this sweet little kitten clambered all over me, snuffled in armpits and neck, tangled in my hair, bounced on my tummy… she hardly left me alone, apart from jumping off the bed to go explore our little flat for while before always coming back to her new ‘mummy’.

From the start she was so naughty, so mischievous! She toppled head first into ugg boots, clambered up to the laundry tub and stole wet socks that were soaking, hoarding them under my bed in a pile. One day I turned around to see her with her face white as snow. She’d gotten up on the kitchen counter and toppled a box of milk powder off it, then been busy licking it up for all she was worth. That night I felt so sorry for her – poor thing had the runs! But she never overcame her addiction to milk powder. It  is like kitty crack.

Shalimar has been my best friend and constant companion for nine and a half years now. During that time, I have been extremely sick – but I could not leave her alone in this world. It broke my heart whenever I was in hospital, because she had to go to the pet motel (they were amazing, they treated her like a queen) and it motivated me to get well enough to go home.

She is why I hung on when I had no other reason to do so. I used to fall into a sort of coma like sleep before Shalimar came into my life, where I would wake up days later and not even know that it wasn’t the same day. Shalimar prevented those from ever happening again, because she just will not give up if I don’t wake up. I’ll wake with a face like mincemeat from her jabbing at me, but she will get me awake.

Since moving house at the beginning of this year, I finally have been able to give her the life she deserves, as well as the fact that she hasn’t had to go to the pet motel for two years now. And I hope that she will be with me for much longer. Nine is a grand dame in cat years, but my  removals man told me his cat was 17 and still going, so she has that to beat!

These days, Shalimar likes sleeping, eating, walking all over me, using my tummy as a jumping castle, eating my bean plants, and generally getting into everything. She truly is happy, and she makes me happy too.

Do you have a pet, and how has your pet affected your life? 

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31 thoughts on “More about Shalimar – and her newspaper debut!

  1. terry1954 says:

    aww i love that last photo with the cat sitting so close a love between the two

  2. Greta says:

    Oh, you TWO are famous now!
    I adore this post. It’s so warm and lovely. So happy you have Shalimar and that you bond so well with your pet.
    As you know, I have two crazy cats. Yes! Sometimes I hate them. In a way When they break things or destroy the dresses I have never worn before or wake me up at 5 am. But I deeply love them as well. They bring me so much happiness and joy and love. They make me wise and calm. They make me better.
    xo.

    • Fiona says:

      The Russian Mafia definitely are in charge at your place, Greta!
      Shalimar wrecks my stockings! Argh! And does the 5am wake up call.
      I still don’t know how she knows exactly when it’s 5am every single morning!
      They are full of so much love, aren’t they :) xxxx

  3. I can feel the love you have for Shalimar

    We have had several cats and dogs (I did a longgg blog on them shortly after beginning, but I mainly wrote it for me as I thought it was TMI for most people)

    However my last cat that I had was so special and partial to me. It seemed like she knew how I was feeling and would look into my eyes, and I could just feel such a warmth and love from her. Her name was Angel..Sadly we had to put her ‘to sleep’ last fall..she was 15 and her health failed. We still have our doggie Koko who is 9 but I long for another cat. My husband and I thought though that since he is 70 and I am 66..not ancient but older…that it would be unfair to get more pets as if something did happen to one of us…we wouldn’t want them to end up in a shelter….Diane

    • Fiona says:

      I would love to read your blog post about your pets, Dianne.
      I’m sorry that you lost Angel. You would have done the right thing so she was no longer in pain, but it’s so heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to a special friend. I really don’t think non-pet owners know what they are missing.
      I’m really sad that you and your husband couldn’t have another pet now because you consider yourselves too ‘old’. I don’t think so! Maybe you could adopt an older cat from a shelter who won’t otherwise see the outside of that place, since they seem to have less chance of being adopted over younger cats? An older cat wouldn’t… argh how to write this? be likely to outlive you, but even if something did happen, it was already in the shelter in the first place so going back isn’t so much unfair as that you would have granted it a holiday from there. Or a few extra years of life.
      Special hugs and prayers to you xxx

      • Hi, Thanks for your loving comment..I am sending you the link..but it is a long post…but a story on each of our pets….there you will see that not only are we probably not going to get any more pets because of them outliving us but also the fact that my husband (because of my physical limitations with MS) is basically their caregiver and with the house and all to look after it is that extra work that he feels he cannot keep up indefinitely….Here’s the link…Diane http://hometogo232.wordpress.com/2011/11/

        • Fiona says:

          Thank you so much, Diane. I will go over and read. I’m sorry about the pet situation for you now. That makes a lot of sense to me – being a carer for pets too is a LOT of work.
          I’ve recently heard of therapy animals, and I wish that there was something like that, someone with a therapy dog or cat who could visit you every now and then for a cuddle or two. I know you have probably thought of everything, but it is heartbreaking to think that someone who loves their pets like me, cannot have the comfort and love of one now. Thinking of you and praying xxx

  4. neonorangeds says:

    What a beautiful cat!! She sounds like the perfect companion — when she isn’t causing trouble :) And now she’s famous :) (and you are too!)

    I currently have a cat-hunter for a pet: my rabbit (who clearly has no idea what she’s getting herself into but is very territorial!!). She is probably as large as a cat and likes to chase any neighborhood cats who enter into ‘her’ yard. I don’t think she’d be so successful if I wasn’t behind her but there’s no stopping her (especially since she’s fast!). She makes sure there’s never a dull moment!

    In my last comment: you’re right, I shouldn’t compare. What I was meaning to express was that I think you’ve come through a lot and I feel like I can understand while, at the same time, I cannot claim to know exactly what it was like.

    I hope that you will have a lovely weekend :) xoxo

    • Fiona says:

      I have to admit I thought that bunnies were little tiny fluffy things, so the thought of a big ferocious one chasing cats makes me laugh! Your rabbit sounds awesome.
      and thank you – I am sad that you do understand, we all have different stories, yes, but you are right there are enough things we have in common that we can empathise… I wish all the time that other people didn’t have to know what it’s like to be hurting in the first place!
      On the other hand, the rewards have been amazing, and I wouldn’t go back and undo it, just to keep the people i’ve been blessed to meet in my life :)
      It’s a sunny, warm weekend here but trying hard to be winter! hope you are enjoying your spring :) xxx

  5. This is lovely! You are Shalimar are so cute :) xx

  6. Do you consider yourself to be disabled? I would like to read more of this article. I can only squeeze a few words out of the scanned copy without breaking my eyes. Could you please put into typed quotation exactly what was written?

    • Fiona says:

      Hi Nicole, the above post has a link to the actual article online (look above the picture of it).
      No I don’t consider myself disabled at all, although I could easily be classed as such with my profound bilateral deafness. However the government does, and if I did not accept the disability pension I would be on the street. I was working with Footprints because of my frailty, remember how physically sick and weak this made me. I’ve come a long way and hope to be fully independant again some day sooner rather than later. I’ve also been working with an agency to help me find a job despite the medical issues I still experience that right now keep me out of the workforce.

  7. iamnotshe says:

    Go Fiona! Shalimar is pefection! Pets rock. Gracie’s moved to the city. I hope to get a pup soon! Love you sis, more to come. XO

  8. Lollirot says:

    Such a wonderful post, and an even more wonderful kitty :) There are no words for just how much animals can protect and love and save. And I’m so so happy you have Shalimar, and she has you :)

    I have Lexi, and she’s kept me here, and safe. Two months after I got her I ended up in the ER for a couple of days. She spent the whole time crying and lying on my clothes. That is a big part of how I’ve avoided ODing or worse since then. She makes me smile no matter what, and she loves me no matter what.

    Pets are awesome.

    Love to Shalimar, and to Lexi and to you =D

    • Fiona says:

      There are no words!!! So true. So precious. I’m really glad that Lexi has helped you in that way – her distress was turned around into a real motivation to OD’ing. Anything that works, is good, but Lexi is more than ‘anything’ she loves you and you her.
      So glad you have her, and I have Shalimar. Lots of love to you both from us xxx

  9. Lisa at fLVE says:

    such a lovely post. :) i love cats and dogs. i had them growing up…

  10. mundanebrain says:

    Ive always had a dog, and my parents got a new puppy last year when I had to temporarily live with them due to recovery. Our last dog had passed 3years earlier, and since I was then home bound, I could not stand being alone all day. The puppy saved me. And since she grew up with me in my deepest eating disordered mess, she became, what I call, my ‘animal cop’. When I sneak into the kitchen to binge, she’ll sit with her bum against the door or the cupboard so I cant enter the kitchen or open the cabinets, or she’ll start howling. So strange!! And when I do do ‘stupid things’, she automatically brings her leash to go on a walk, and when we return, I always feel more clear headed from being outside in the fresh air for a bit. And when I feel like absolute shit, I’ll become absolutely cranky and I let no one near, and shell be the only one I can actually allow to comfort me :)

    Isnt it funny how our pets can keep us going?

    • Fiona says:

      Hey :) that’s incredible!!!
      It’s amazing how they just seem to ‘know’. They know something’s wrong even when you might not show it, they know when you are hurting, restless, in danger, etc. Incredible animals. I have been thinking a lot about working dogs lately – I have a friend who has epilepsy and her dog knows before she does that she’s about to have a seizure and lets her know. And then there are dogs for the blind, and all the stuff they do, and therapy dogs for PTSD, who know to wake up their owners when they are having nightmares and turn on the lights.
      I’m so glad your dog has been helpful for you, though I suspect there were times you wanted him to just leave you alone in peace! I know when I’m in the middle of a binge or a purge or some sort of ed behaviours, I didn’t want to be stopped, I had to do it – because i didn’t believe I could cope. But when you are stopped, you realise that you did cope without it after all. :)

  11. Andrea says:

    LOVE this! Each picture of you and Shalimar warms my heart. Pets do seem so naturally carefree and happy. They’re the easiest to love. I had the sweetest cat growing up. All he ever wanted was to play and be loved. I remember hiding under covers pretending to be asleep, because at three in the morning my cat wanted someone to love on. He’s really missed. You had a real extra reason to fight. What would Shalimar have done without you? xx:)

    • Fiona says:

      Haha they do want to love on in the middle of the night, don’t they? They sleep all day, so when we are sleeping they are frisky! Shalimar does that too, and I hide, but she is one determined kitty and can usually force her way under the doona with me! I’m sure you miss your cat – *hugs* xxxx

  12. What a lovely, beautiful post, Fiona. I adore that picture of you and Shalimar; you look so content and happy.

    I also have a precious kitty, Aliena, who means the world to me. She sleeps with me each night and likes to snuggle on my lap when I’m at the computer. She also curls up in my study when I am in there, and sometimes follows me into the bathroom when I take a shower. She often greets me at the door when I come home!

    I write a profession eating disorders blog for HealthyPlace, and you have inspired me to think about the role of pets in recovery.

    Take care!

    • Fiona says:

      Hello from Shalimar to your precious Aliena! I’m so glad you know what it’s like to love and be loved by a kitty too. She sounds like your shadow, like Shalimar is for me!
      I woud be so interested in reading your blog on HealthyPlace and your thoughts on pets, I really think they are valuable in recovery!
      *hugs* xxx

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