A story of everyone's life.
If we fail to get into a medical university having pursued a dream of our parents of becoming a doctor, we become hopeless to the core.
If we fail to sing the way our parents think we could, we think we're a complete failure.
At times we apply in just one university for the fact that we've wanted to go there since childhood and actually fail to get admitted, knowing that we cannot apply else where for all the admission dates are past us, we just want to kill ourselves at such times..
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I agree with this so much.
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We can't ever make life go to a plan that we might have - life has a way of choosing it's own path for us!
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The most important message for me, is that we are NOT failures when life doesn't go to plan. Nobody is ever a failure for having gotten up and had a go.
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Living with a mental illness means that I have lost the life I once planned for myself. I had dreams, dreams I worked hard for, that were pretty much guaranteed. And they fell flat in the face of depression and anorexia and bulimia. They deserted me when all was bleak and I was battling in the aftermath.
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It was very hard for me to pick myself up again at all, because all I had once lived for was gone.
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Now I'm able to see that there is so much more out there, for us all. That if our plans don't eventuate, there will always be something else we can do or hope for. I'm never going to be a ballerina, but I'm still able to dance and I thank God for that. I'm never going to be a biochemist, but I'm certainly not stopped from observing and learning about life!
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My priorities have changed because of all I have been through. Before, my dreams were all about me. Now they are all about, how can I make sure that I leave this world a better place in some small way for my having been here? Because that's truly what makes ME the happiest now. It makes me wealthy in something far more precious than anything tangible.
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Never give up. It's hard to trust sometimes that things will be okay. But they do have a way of working out in the end.
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How have your dreams changed, according to what surprises your life has brought you?
You may not get to be a professional ‘ballerina’ but with your love of dancing you will be a ‘ballerina’…Trusting that things are working out for the best…is a big thing and I see that in you so much. I know you have difficult days still but you’re working through them and that is wonderful. I had dreams that I would grow old but still be able to have a body that would do what I wanted…and I miss not having the energy level or function that is best…but it’s okay because I’ve learned to be grateful for what I am able to do and not …unable to do…..Diane
Trust is hard, isn’t it? The biggest leaps of faith are blind, and that is what life feels like so much. But we never end up living at all if we never trust.
And thank you for reminding me that I AM a ballerina – because I dance, still, whether it’s for enjoyment or even in my memories and my heart!
you inspire me so much, the way you appreciate all you have. Thank you xx
This is so true, and i PRAY for this freedom of new life, and new hope for both of us: DEEPLY. AND i cannot wait for the day we attain our new lives. BUT, it is the journey … the fight … the warrioring on that makes the goals special. NO FEAR!!! Let’s reach for the stars! And God protect us from the ocassional visit from demons,
. My sweet sister. HOW ARE YOU!? I look forward to hearing more. Love Mel
Hello dear sis, so wonderful to see you here. I’m okay, I’ve just updated and saw that you will be back later, I hope you have a good day today. You are right that the most important part is actually the journey. And I think, it might not even matter so much if we achieve our end goals or not – so much as we had the courage to take the journey. The gifts we find along the way (like friends
) are priceless. Love you dearly xxx
Fiona you’ve already made a difference to the readers of you blog, especially me
You’re a lovely person and a brilliant friend 
Writerwannabe is right, you are a ballerina already, you love to dance and you must be good to have gotten as far as you did. It’s awful that you couldn’t be a professional dancer, but you can use your own experiences to continue to make a difference to other peoples lives. You’re good at that
xx
Thank you so much! I have really been so lucky to make friends, like YOU. And you have made a huge difference to my life too, for the better.
best of luck and have FUN, it’s a wedding, try and party 
xxxx
I am learning so much. I have learnt today that when I look at what I do have, I have more than when I look at what I’ve lost – it’s another one of those magic tricks that perspective plays!
I’m thinking of you especially right now – because I might be ahead of you, but tomorrow is Thursday. You are going to be beautiful and you can do this
I saw your comment to Talin on her blog and it prompted me to go here to your blog. What you expressed to her was wise, honest and compassionate – lovely. I applaud you and the journey you’re on.
Thank you, it means a lot to me to read this! Glad to meet you, will check your blog out tonight too. I love your blog name, MentalMakeover – sounds like you are on a journey of your own
Actually Mental Makeover hasn’t been finished but I don’t know how to get the comments back to CreativitytotheMax (Max is my dog). thanks for the reminder to try and figure it out.
Wow, I have only just come back online, I love your dog, that’s Max in the picture isn’t it? I don’t know how to get comments from one blog to another if that’s what you mean, I’ll let you know if I find out
This picture/quote is fantastic. This is something we should be teaching our children. Having goals is good – no doubt. They are important, but just as important is being flexible. It’s hard to remember. Things like this make me realise we have been sold a bill of goods growing up.
Obviously the last few months (the last month especially) have been a time of transition for me. In that time I have actually come to terms with my depression and introvertedness. For most people losing their job is just the end of the world, however for me (with the exception of the first few days) it has helped me accept who I am a bit more. Rather than this constant battle between me and job that didn’t fit my personality. I am now a bit more at peace. My path has changed, it is still changing in fact. But I am now going with the flow a bit more.
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Just continuing on our other conversations…
I do own a hairdryer but just can’t be bothered. My hair is better quality for it. If I happened to go somewhere fancy, I’d do something with my hair, but for everyday, I am happy as long as it’s not in my face.
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I have an ED question, sort of – do you watch shows like Masterchef. Even if you’re not a fan, would you find cooking shows triggering, or entertaining? Just something I am wondering about sitting here watching the finale.
It’s really awesome that something that could have been the worst thing ever for most people, and thrown them into a slump, has been something you turned around and made the best that you could of. You are finding that silver lining, using life’s hurdles to learn and grow stronger and wiser.
I don’t think I have the guts to – yet.
Goodnight my fellow Aussie friend and thank you for your comments 
xx
I agree about teaching our kids about goals not being as important as the journey, and that it’s not the end of the world if we don’t achieve our dreams. These days, everyone is a ‘winner’ in sporting competitions, in other competitions for our kids – that’s lovely and kind, but it doesn’t teach resilience or that in life we rarely always win. Or that just being in the race is more than enough! The attitude I see from parents and coaches and tutors is ‘not good enough, go all out, you must WIN’. Life isn’t a game, of course, but it’s not about always winning, most definitely not – yet that’s what we seem to be teaching kids now.
You sound like me hair-wise. It’s hair, getting out there and living life is more important. Although I might some time soon start wearing really colourful funny hats. A friend has dared me to – a challenge to self consciousness. That way, if you do feel people are staring at you, they ARE – because of your hat… haha
Um.. yes. I used to be addicted to everything food – shows, books, magazines. These days, not so much. I still watch Masterchef (and that’s why my blog took about 4 hours to write tonight, I was watching the finals AND typing, AND facebooking!) but more for the human aspect of it – finding a competitor I like and backing them. My eyes tend to glaze over at the cookery stuff itself. I also met a lovely group of women who have become really close friends, from round Australia – from two masterchefs ago, we still all talk every single night, meet up, everything, which was an amazing lesson to me in that ‘normal’ and ‘well’ people have problems too, and that I can fit in. I was terrified that all these grown women, who are mothers, business owners, executives, etc, and very very good cooks, wouldn’t have anything in common with me, someone who is still very girl-like and immature a lot of the time, never had kids, never married, and in and out of the psych ward. What a surprise – and a gift.
I actually find very little triggering anymore. Cooking shows, no. Going into hospital and being there, or seeing someone else with the ED caught up in it, that triggers me big time. Thinspo, diet crap, pro-ed crap etc – doesn’t trigger me. But that’s mostly because I think I’m well past that period where you still think it’s something that’s going to make your life better – I know better now.
Hope you enjoyed the final!! Was a surprise, but I’m glad the guy who won, won
(The addiction to food shows/mags/books etc, used to be more because I was so ravenously hungry, it’s really sad.) xx
This totally speaks from my heart. In fact, I’ve failed on almost anything so far. But now I know what I want, and I’ll pursue it. Not in a way of “I have to learn X with teacher Y” though, but in a more flexible way. My mome always speaks of “loosely-fix”, and I like this concept very much. Know what you want, but be flexible in how to pursue it. You’ll find a way eventually.
I can’t imagine you failing, Kath, I doubt you really failed so much as you believed you did, and that makes me so, so sad. I think we have such unrealistic expectations of perfection from ourselves sometimes. We forget that failure and success are black and white and that reality is all shades in between. And that failure is often NOT really failure either – having a go can be a success. I’m glad you are learning to be more accepting and flexible. I am too. A big one for me, was being able to be okay with not dancing ‘well’ any more, but just enjoying being able to dance at all! And I have to say – that is going well for me
Sometimes we just have to look at the bigger picture and how important what we are doing is overall, it’s a bit silly sometimes to beat ourselves up over something that isn’t going to affect our lives all that much like one exam. Hope your weekend has been good, my friend xoxox
Thank you so much for reminding me of all of this, Fi! You’re right, thinking in terms of black and white about failing and success always makes me beat up myself. And it’s true that I *have* taken a lot from those years, in retrospective – knowledge, skills, and experience. So it wasn’t for nothing.
What I’m referring to is that I didn’t play piano earlier and that I didn’t finish my first studies. I also failed on getting a driving licence. I’ve had invalidating and in part even abusive relationships (well, four overall, so it’s not like I was promiscuous or anything). My life was overshadowed from ED, PTSD, and depression. So there. Moving on.
Oh, and of course change plans if they don’t suit you anymore!