I just wanted to quickly apologise for the tar-like speed of my responses to comments lately, and even worse, keeping up with your blogs. I’ve seriously let my email account get out of control and have been neglecting everyone.
Sometimes I go through periods where I can write – posts, statuses – but I struggle to actually talk WITH people. I can spew out words, but I can’t really connect. Maybe this is one of those periods of time. It’s been a huge festive season! It’s also very hot here in Australia, with temperatures getting up to 45 degrees celsius!
Next week is scaring me – ‘life’ starts again. These summer holidays have been the first time I’ve felt on holidays for years. When you don’t have a life, you don’t have any reason to go on holidays. Weekends and public holidays only affect you in that maybe some things are closed. The rest of it is pretty much the same. But this holiday period, not only did I have things to be on holiday from – volunteer work, ballet – but I went away a few times to stay with friends (who are my family) and I celebrated the season with them. It felt like holidays. There was a change in the pace of my life, and for the first time in months I felt relaxed instead of stressed.
I know, it’s lame for me to be stressed, my life is so laid back compared to most people’s lives – but it’s a challenge for ME.
I know I’ll be fine next week – and I’m looking forward to the challenges this year has for me. I’m also enjoying knowing that there will be more holiday periods to come – real ones. More fun, more travelling (for real – I’m going camping in Easter!!)
How were your holidays, and what has the new year got in store for you?
Thank you for your patience with my chronic tardiness!
Sometime you have to admit defeat and hit delete on some of those posts you would have preferred to have caught up on my inbox spiralled out of control at one point and I had nearly 4000 emails waiting all blogs I follow in the end I created a waiting folder and moved everything there now at the end of each day I shift any unread blog posts in there should I ever have a quiet day I will pop there and read some but at least I cannot see them taunting me with my own failure to keep up
OMG 4000 emails!!!! Whoa. I would have completely freaked out at that many – it gets so hard to motivate yourself to check your email knowing you have a snowballing avalanche waiting for you and that you need to weed through them for important emails, too. Ithink you have a really good idea there and I might see if I can make that work for me, too. I’ve tried Gmail’s priority inbox but it tends to think things are important that I don’t, and things are not important that are, even when I try and ‘teach’ it otherwise!
You are always blessed and loved … especially when there’s nothing to forgive. I hope the new year brings loads of growth and JOY!!! Love, Melis
Oh Mel, you are always so kind and gentle and loving. Thank you! Lots of love to you and hoping your new year brings only better things! xxx
Oh I’ve been wanting to go camping again for months. Havent done it in years but since feeling so lost I’ve wanted to do nothing rather than go outside, stay outside and savour outside. It’s winter here though so it’s not at all an option. And I cant think of an alternative to reach that same humbled freedom! Boohoo
This is going to be the first time I’ve been camping since maybe when i was a little girl, a brownie guide or maybe a school camp, and I can’t wait. I hope that you can go camping maybe when it’s a better season in your country. It’s hard not being able to go outside more – being out in nature is what grounds me and makes me breathe again, and it sounds like it’s that important to you, too. xx
it’s not lame for you to be stressed at all. what you do with what you’ve been through soaks up a huge amount of physical and mental/emotional energy! we can’t compare ourselves to others. xo
Thank you so much for understanding. We tend to be the ones who place the most expectations on ourselves and it helps to be reminded that nobody expects any more of us than we can give! I have to catch up with you – I hope you have been okay. I see your dentist appointment went well and I’m so glad and so proud of you xx
The more reminders the better for us. We have to break the lies in our minds, and that takes a lot of reminding! lol
There’s nothing to feel bad about, you always try, you are recovering, please be GENTLE, with yourself, we are all DIFFERENT, it would be like comparing apples and oranges, Keep up your amazing journey, take care! Remember to have hope, it’s there inside!
Really good advice! Thank you so much. It’s hard to not compare – it’s something we seem especially good at doing! Thank you for reminding me and for caring xx
Holidays were good..except for the pneumonia 3 weeks before….but feeling okay now….I will be ‘tardy’ to use your word in the next couple of days because reading is difficult for me right now..I have an eye condition called blepharitis..extensive tearing of the eyes and it hasn’t bothered me for quite awhile but today and who knows about tomorrow I’m having a lot of difficulty but wanted to touch bases with you…Take care Diane
Pneumonia is awful, Diane, and I’m sorry you had to go through that! I hope you are feeling better now and getting stronger each day. Take it easy!
That eye condition sounds scary and painful.
Thank you for touching base with me. I love hearing from you and you are very special to me. I just hope you feel better asap. Take care! xx
The pneumonia has cleared . The eye condition not much can be done about except the eye doctor except taking ‘Omega three fish oil supplements and I’ve been doing well except just the last day…It’s not painful really just an awful irritation because there are just constant tearing blurring my vision…Diane
I’m so glad the pneumonia has cleared up – that’s something. The eye condition just sounds painful and hard to live with. Eyes are so sensitive. And sight so essential. I hope that it improves and you have some relief in time. Praying hard for you. xxxx
I do this all the time – pull myself down by assuming I don’t do enough (compared with what I could do, that others do, etc etc). But deep inside I know that this is nonsense. Everybody needs rest, although it’s really hard for me to allow it for myself. And it doesn’t matter how much “objectively” do, because I can imagine you’re already doing a lot, given that you battle with your ED, depression, and all the communicative activities you engage in, plus work and ballet … You’ve definitely deserved a holiday, and I’m so happy you actually had a holiday feeling with you family friends! <3 <3
Thank you! I think it can be hard to listen to our ‘wise mind’ instead of the emotional mind or the little voice that has spent so many years beating us up – but we will become more able to the more we practice stopping and reminding ourselves of reason and of truth. For me, CBT is helping. I hope you had a lovely holiday too, Kath, it was a full on year for you last year!! xxxx <3