As a child I used to think people who were addicted to drugs went to rehab so they could accumulate enough sober time to reverse their addictions. I think this is the general misconception about addiction -- that "clean and sober" time will cure you of your addiction, because all "addiction" was was a habit you lost control over.
This isn't the case.
Recovery is not just stopping behaviours at all. That's part of it, but only a small part.
You wouldn't just attack the symptoms of an illness and expect the illness to clear up by itself. Imagine concentrating on getting relief from terrible headaches, but not doing anything about the brain tumor that caused them, for example? If you aren't working on every aspect of your eating disorder - physical, emotional, spiritual, social, cultural, familial, you are doing the same thing.
Bad news people - the recovery journey is hard work. (And even if you don't believe in recovery, you can still be on a recovery journey. I have an idea recovery might be more of a spectrum rather than a black and white marker.)
The good news is, it's worth it and so are you.
I very much agree. And I’m afraid the work just begins when you stop engaging in the behaviors because then you’ll face what’s coming to the surface.
Yes and I don’t think many people realise that at first!
Ditto, to what Kath wrote…..When you stop engaging in the behavior you face what comes to the surface that was blocked by the behavior. (Unless you pick up another addiction).
However I also believe I was doing A LOT of intense inner work before my behaviors stop (and they have only recently stopped….so we’ll see if I’m in sustained abstinence yet). I don’t think the work of recovery is ONLY happening when you are not engaged in the eating disorder. A lot of change will be percolating in preparation for abstinence too.
I love what Recovering Anorexic wrote. I only had one small niggle, about eating normally only healing the physical level….I do experience that eating deeply nourishing foods (without purging or starving too), plays a crucial part in healing the brain and thus giving the brain/mind the energy and resources it needs to do the hard work of healing.
Execllent post! I love this line: “although your life may seem better without the eating disorder behaviors, if you don’t work on all that inner stuff, something else will surely take place of your eating disorder.
sometimes it does seem a bit of a chicken and egg situation – did the behavior precede the problems or did the problems cause the behavior? And likewise a chicken and egg situation the other way – can we stop the behavior without knowing why we do it? And working on that? So I think to some extent.. we need to start one before the other. Eg when weight restoration or ceasing the purging is life-saving. But we need to pick up with the other side of it as soon as we are able. Try to do them concurrently is my feeling..
Agree about something taking it’s place. We miss out on SO MUCH because of our EDs, there is a world of things out there to do and see and discover!
*hugs*
Great Message Today! I will always have issues with food – somedays I do really well and other times I fall off the wagon, but I just try to do better the next day and the next day. Happy Friday:)
That’s a really good way to keep going, to keep on getting up and meeting each day as it comes no matter whether you had a bad day or a good day before. xxx
Thanks for the reblog! I think in the little you wrote, you actually said it better than my entry, lol.
I really found your entry said it all for me! Hence the reblog
<3
Plain and honest truth….Diane
Agreed! Hugs and blessings to you xx
Amen!
Thank you for sharing this!
I love you Greta and am missing you. Hopefully I’ll make it to your blog tonight. My inbox looks like an avalanche hit, not just that, but a volcano erupted simultaneously! Need to catch up with you. Love andhugs xxx
Recovery is hard…. and I dearly hope it is worth it.
Hi Sasha, I hope so much it’s worth it too, so much. People who actually have made it there tell me it is – and I choose to believe them. Never give up hoping. One day we will get there xxx
I absolutely agree, that recovery is a spectrum, not a binomial recovered or disordered. (What’s the right term? Disordered? Sufferer? Unrecovered?) Just like you said, it’s a journey, but one that does not have a specific goal. Does the fact that I had a behaviour today but not a week ago mean that I have regressed in my recovery? Does somebody else who has less behaviours than someone else mean that (s)he is “better” than that person, who may actually have healthier-showing labs, or vice versa? I don’t think it’s that simple. Recovery comes in different forms for everyone, and each day is different too. It’s a grey zone forever…yes, it’s hard, but all we can do is keep trying, I guess. Keep trying to be happy.
I totally agree. Many of us are weight restored for example – often because we ‘have to’ – and then people see us as ‘recovered’ yet inside we are at the same place or pretty close to it. And there are people who might never actually get completely free of their disorders too – but have a much better level of health and quality of life, what on earth do we call them?
I think definitely it’s true that it’s the journey, rather than the destination, that’s most important xx