I think this is a timely post considering my last was a rant about thinspiration.
The world’s biggest scam, the weight loss industry, constantly looks for ways to reinvent itself and sell more product.
Just quickly, I say it’s a scam because any other product that failed 95% of the time would be recalled. The weight loss industry, however, not only continues to profit, but they profit from your failure. Most of the weight loss industry’s profit comes from repeat customers. They bank on their diet failing you, to ensure that you need to come back again and again.
If Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Lighterlife, et al, actually worked, they would be out of business very fast with no repeat customers.
Their diets are constantly repacked and redesigned to keep things fresh and exciting. So it’s no surprise with the new Hunger Games movie due out, there is a Hunger Games inspired exercise and eating plan by Daily Burn, read about it here
I prefer Jezebel’s version: Here Are Some Tips to Get You Hunger Games Skinny.
Here is their Unofficial Hunger Games Exercise and Weight Loss Plan:
- District 12 isn’t real. Instead, move to a deindustrialized coal town in the Ozarks where food and happiness are scarce. Learn to hunt, but don’t get too good at it! Remember, you want to get thin and a propensity for missing your target can only help.
- You may not be able to find tracker jackers, but you can find good old-fashioned bees. Let them sting you until your throat closes up. It’s as good as a jaw wiring, though you will likely die.
- Put on the most beautiful dress you can find, cover yourself in gasoline, then light yourself on fire. Not only will this make you like Katniss, the Girl on Fire, but it will also make you burn mega carbs as you run around screaming for help.
- With the help of a partner, set up a reward system for food. The only time you get a snack is when you A.) outrun a pack of dogs or B.) kiss a boy in a cave.
- Live in a constant state of fear. Not only will all your hair fall out (gah, hair weight), but you will always have worried diarrhea— a great way to cut down on bloating and shed fast pounds!
- Couple these suggestions with those of the Daily Burn and you should be fighting fit before you can say “Seneca Crane.” Maybe, if you get skinny enough, you can fit into your Hunger Games wedding dress at your Hunger Games wedding.
See you at the bee hospital movies!
Sounds just like your run of the mill diet/exercise plan to me! I vote to ditch the effort and read a good book instead. Specifically, read the Hunger Games books, they are AMAZING.
What is the most ridiculous diet and/or exercise plan you have ever come across?
Are you looking forward to the Hunger Games movies? Have you read the books?